Basically, I am on the verge of having a panic attack now. I had everything planned along- October: Board Exam and Nov/Dec: leaving for the States. Everything is soothing as sailing through a calm ocean. The timing’s perfect and all. However, yesterday while I was browsing the US embassy site I found a disturbing truth. It was that I am turning twenty one in less than a week. Not that it actually matters of me wanting to be young longer, but 21 is consider as an adult in the US. It means that everything should take the fast-track lane. Instead of an idle of six months for my Visa Immigrant, for my petition to be non-void the US would only allow me THREE months, if ever our petition would be approved.

My problem is that IT IS QUITE SHORT. I don’t think that I can take my board exam after all the efforts, I did. (Pseudo-sacrifices too, if I may) I want to take the board exam. I want to receive my own PRC license and be a Psychometrician. I gives my four years of hardship something tangible. It will boost my self-esteem. I really hope for a 6 month grace period!

Aside from it, I am not psychological prepared. I don’t want to leave what I have in the PH. I don’t know how to say goodbye to Angelicus, 4, besh and all the other people that I came to love and cared for all this time. I want to spent more time with them. I want to bond, to take with me memories that I can treasure forever and to be simply be with them. It breaks my heart.

To add the burden of leaving this people, I have no idea of what course of life will I have in the US. Change of place, change of culture, change of ideology, change of SES, change of acquaintance and a whole damn lot of uncertainty. I have no idea of how to get a stable job that actually pay a sustainable amount for me to continue my leisure or for a matter of fact just to sustain my life.

Maybe it’s a risk worthwhile. I just have to be sure to get gain in this pain. May it be a blessing in disguise. I actually find it funny, that I feel hesistant of leaving this country. I have a good papers to migrate and, in fact, thousand of Filipinos want to migrate so they do TNT stuff just to leave this God-forsaken country.

Well, the interview is this Monday, July 28 and I know for a fact that yes we will be approved. The question is for how long the queue time period is? I strongly pray and believe the six months would be given! I can take this board exam and bond with this people I love!

God’s will. HOPEFUL!.


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