These are the times were I feel worthless and never good enough. I don’t know why but I woke up today feeling a cow in my body. Later in the morning I saw him, there standing and realizing I was no where near his heart. It aches me, I love the pheromones that he gives me and the smile he flash at me but seeing it and hearing it made me think that I am just another person.
Yes, this just have to hit me in the gut.
More than that, I realize that I am wasting my life, I have no hard core dreams and I am stagnant. I am not moving. I am not aiming. I am, now more than ever wilting into mediocrity. Two days from now is the release of my grades, I have an idea of what I may get and it sucks if I do get that, I use to aim 100% and now, look at me, I am pathetic.
I don’t feel anything most of the times. It’s like, I am in a state of coma, I do smile and I do get sad but it’s not a state it is more of fluctuation of emotions, a split second and after that it’s gone.
I want to FEEL. I want AIM. I want to ACHIEVE.
Maybe, its me whining but I can’t help it.